Relationships are hard. There is no denying it. The question is, why are they so hard? You are probably thinking they are hard because people are complex beings, and two complex beings coming together can result in not so harmonious situations. You are right! But there's also so much more to relationships than what we are consciously aware of.
Have you met someone before and felt like you knew them in a past life? If the answer is yes, you most probably did know them in a past life. Even if the answer is no, it's likely that you have met the important people in your life before, as we tend to reincarnate with our soul-family. This concept can sound very romantic, and many people imagine that in a past life they lived a beautiful love story with their current partner. What they might not know is that very often past-life relationships had difficult aspects, and at times were simply destructive and even abusive. We reincarnate with our loved ones again and again, and often we switch roles so that the husband from this life could have been the father in a previous life, the current son could have been the sister, and so on. So not only are humans complex beings, with their subconscious minds compounding their complexities, but the human experience on earth is complex, compounded by lifetimes of changing dynamics between soul-family members.
So how do we successfully navigate our relationships? A good place to start would be to remind ourselves that the Law of Attraction states that "That which is like unto itself, is drawn". This means we are attracting a match to our own vibration, and repelling whoever is not a match. Gaining the self-awareness to correctly evaluate our own vibration can take some time and some work. At a young age it is not always obvious when we are choosing a partner who triggers our unresolved wounds, or who is similar to one of our parents, in a manner which is unflattering. As we get older we might begin to notice relationship tendencies and patterns. Maybe we keep attracting partners who don't prioritize us. Maybe we attract people who are unavailable, emotionally or physically. I had a client who lived in NYC and always fell for guys who were only in NYC temporarily, so the relationships always had an expiration date looming in the background. Sometimes we attract partners who we can re-enact our parents' relationship with. I had a client who attracted a man who treated her like her father treated her mom, therefore casting her in the position of acting like her mom. She felt terrible in that relationship, ended it, but never solved her emotional wounds around her childhood. The next relationship she attracted, springing from that same point of attraction, was again just like her parent's one, only this time she attracted a man who acted like her mom did, triggering her to act like her dad.
The answer, therefore, to having healthy relationships, is to heal our own wounds and to Align to our Higher Selves, so that our point of attraction is a positive one. Healing our wounds can entail healing childhood wounds, healing past-lives wounds, or both. Our point of attraction doesn't only refer to the time when we attract someone new into our lives, but to the interactions we attract on a daily basis with our loved ones. Relationships are exchanges of energy, like a dance between people, and we always choose our own steps, and even choose whether or not we are going to participate in the dance. As our point of attraction shifts, we change our steps, and our partner can follow the new rhythm, or simply walk away. When a relationship ends because one person transformed in a positive way and the other person chose not to follow, there is a natural sense of sadness and even grief, but with time the transformed person moves on and feels like the break-up was inevitable and was for the best. But when a relationship ends because the frustrated partners are blaming each other for triggering painful emotions, and do not use the opportunity of the relationship to gain awareness of their wounds and heal them, that's when there can be lingering feelings of sadness, resentment, confusion, and lack of closure, even after many years.
Our relationships with other people are our final frontier. Our greatest growth opportunities can be found in our dynamics with others. The love we feel in our hearts and our natural longing for connection are great motivators in our quest to overcome our emotional obstacles and bond closely with others. As long as we remember that the key to healthy relationships lies in our own Vibration, we have the power to manifest relationships which are deeply joyful and fulfilling!
Wishing you loving and harmonious connections,
Transformational Leader, Hypnotherapist,